letting the cat out....

I said last week that I would let the cat out of the bag, so mee-yow…

G-d is calling me to plant a church in my home called Renovo.

Here is the story of how G-d has brought me to this place.

First I have to start with my background -- for years I've been looking to find a place in vocational ministry. I was a summer intern and ran numerous ministries at New Life Church of Christ in Bellville growing up. Then I went to New Hope Community Church in Loudonville, to intern under Dan Wells. I didn't really intern, but shadowed Dan some. Shortly after my time there, Dan was called to plant a Church in Maine. I considered moving to help plant North Harbor, but I decided against it. A year or so later Aaron Gross and I began to envision a church in Mansfield called Oikos Church. However, due to some crazy circumstances those plans fell through.

Throughout this season of my life I was just looking to get into a ministry position. My purpose was just to have "ministry experience" because in my heart I always wanted to plant a church, but never had the guts to do it. Over and over I played a bunch of lines in my head, "you don't have a seminary education, you don't have 'real' experience, you're not this and not good enough at that."

I just kept praying and waiting.

About a month ago there was a possibility of me taking a position at a church. I began to pray about it, sought council from others and started to feel that it would be a good fit for me. But in the depths of my heart I kept going back to you know you want to do church differently, start from a fresh place, new soil and plant the vision of G-d's redeeming love. Back and forth my minded raced… plant or position… plant or lead an established church.

A few weeks went by as my mind raced - back and forth, back and forth. One night I woke up restless. Selah, my newborn daughter, helped keep me awake also. That night I finally felt/heard/seen (not sure which one) something. It was like a voice…

Voice: Why have you waited so long to do what I asked? [plant]

Me: I want to be prepared, I don't want to fail you!

Voice: Why does failure matter?

Me: WHAT?!?!?

Voice: You are my beloved child, be faithful to me.

Me: I know, and that's why I want to do it well, for you!

Voice: You are my bride, I love you unconditionally.

Me: HUH?!?!?!

Voice: Trust me, I love you.

Me: I do

Voice: I love you no matter what happens with the church plant.

Me: But I want it to work!

Voice: Who's your savior and why?

Me: You are, by your grace.

Voice: You're right! Then stop trying to gain your salvation, for I AM and I will always save you.

At that moment it hit me… G-d told me, "you are my beloved, you are my bride." No matter, if I have experience or an education, a good looking resume, a building, a budget - anything. I am still that, His beloved child, his beautiful bride. I found peace and clarity, “Plant my church, do my work. Even if you fail, I still love and my covenant with you will never be bent or be broken.”

So that's my new identity, a beloved child, a beautiful bride. And having recently got married (just over a year ago) and a child (just over 7 weeks ago) I know how much he loves me.

If you want to know more about Renovo Church go to www.renovochurch.org. Please pray for me and my family as we embark on this journey.

May G-d's face turn towards you, shine His blessings upon you, and give you peace.